Blech

I don't have much to say today due to a night of intense nausea that has thoughtfully continued into the morning. I gave up on sleep a while ago and have been scrolling around on other people's blogs trying to ignore the sickness feeling. For any of my former Wal Mart compatriots, according to the last test I took, no I'm not pregnant. I have just been having bouts of sick off and on ever since we came home from Mexico. Go to the doctor and have that checked out you say? Well sure why not? Oh wait--- not health insurance Thats why not. Ah well not much to be done then except drink copious amounts of anti-nausea goop. The strangely best tasting medicine I've ever had to take probably because its made with two kinds of sugar. I stumbled across one that has a challenge to lose weight and seeing as how I'm quite a bit fluffier than I was in my glory days of High School, I think I shall have to try it. I totally dig smoothies and if you do too, check out Pancakes and French Fries blog for the recipes and some bonus cute kid pics. Aside from all of this, here's what I stopped by to show you guys. My friend posted this on a myspace bulletin and I couldn't resist snapping it up to share here. I made me laugh a lot until my stomach rebelled at so much shaking and then I had to content myself with grinning some.
Happy reading.


This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products.She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.Dear Mr.Thatcher,I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings.Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic.I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16in my pants.Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now.As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body.Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing? As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customersmonthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'.Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.In fact, only last week, my friendJennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by a bunch of drunken chimps,Crazy!The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing,were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'Are you f**king kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unlessyou're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere.And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullsh*t. And that's a promise I will keep.Always.Best,Wendi AaronsAustin , TX

one of those days

Well actually yesterday was one of those days and I just never got around to complaining about it. We did our tax thing with the CPA and for as much as we made together, we came out pretty good for the total due. Missouri is retarded tho because we actually owed more state tax than we did federal tax. Go figure right? If we'd been in California we'd have probably gotten it all back :) Its kinda like the year when I worked all year except December in California and then moved back here and made $400 bucks in Missouri. I then had a $90 dollar refund from CA and owed MO $35. All I could say was WTF and I'm working in acronyms to protect tender sensibilities. I don't use this kind of language usually but taxes and my in-laws bring out the worst and that is the other half of why yesterday sucked. My husband got a call yesterday morning from his wayward mother who is in Texas running around with his dad. She called to yell at him because he wasn't at their house taking care of the 4 youngest kids. Ages 12, two almost 15's and an almost 17. She had also, I found out later, called J11 (the almost 17) and yelled at her for the same reason. When I found all this out yesterday afternoon, I finally told her what I thought of her having the nerve to yell at them when she's the one who keeps running off and leaving them! Since July of last year either I or both my husband and I have watched the kids while his dad traveled for business and his mom tagged along because she couldn't stand to be away from his dad. Nevermind the kids. Gah! So the message I sent her went along the lines of if you want your kids taken care of you need to do it. Grrrrr! And I'm not saying we won't keep an eye on them, but we can't live at their house and it gets a little old having them here ALL the time. I love to death but my darling dearest and I need a break from all the teenagers sometimes. So then he was mad that I sent his mom that message and I felt bad for making him mad, but not for sending it. She'll just ignore it anyway and the kids are better taken care of when his parents are gone than when they're here. So I just needed to vent. It didn't help matters that I have now got a wonderful spring cold to contend with and a full house of ears for the arguments. We shouldn't have to do this all alone because there are 5 other grown children in the area capable of helping out but only one of them does. So this is a very angry post that is also very negative and I'm sorry for that. But today's another day and I'm gonna chill and try to get well.